This week was the first time that I felt mostly caught up at work. At least caught up enough to not feel pressured to work over the weekend. So Friday I decided to start tackling my severely neglected home. It was nice to scrub and clean out stuff again. At one point, I got the bright idea to move the couches. I realized (after the fact) that they had not been moved since we moved in over a year ago. *Points to self*, see I really am Homemaking Challenged. I am only posting this because I believe that you deserve to see the truth here. This is what was there when we moved the couches.
This picture pretty much summarizes how I feel in life right now. I feel behind and like a failure in so many ways. Seriously, I don't even know how I get it all done sometimes, then just when I'm feeling somewhat accomplished and caught up, I see something like this. I can be really discouraging.
Honestly I know that I could be WAY more efficient with my time specifically at home. After a crazy day at work, racing home getting everyone fed, heading back to church where I'm running a program, then loading up exhausted kids and getting them home 1-2+ hours after their normal bed time, getting them to sleep. I just want to crash on the couch and unwind for a bit. I mean, I've been going for 14+ hours strait at this point. Then its bed time and I race to bed without doing things that should be done, and then those things pile up, and cause me to be even MORE behind than I already was.
There have been days where I choose to be extra productive, and I love the results the next day. However, the results are so short lived in my little family, that it makes being motivated to do them extra hard. I mean, I could do the dishes immediately after dinner, but when I have these adorable faces ...
... staring at me, wanting mommy to sit with them or play with them. How can I refuse? I mean I have been away from them all day, I miss them, I want to be with them!
I guess I will just have to live with being behind for now. Honestly, I think I'm ok with that. While I'm behind with my housework, I'm not behind in reading with my kids, or my fort building skills, or my cuddle time. I want to be intentional and soak all of that up while they are still young.
I think I'm finally coming to a place where I am ok being behind. So long as I'm never behind on special time with my two kiddos.